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Guest Post: A Parent Writes

2/3/2015

12 Comments

 
I read Jack Marwood’s nurture14/15 blog. One of his 5 wishes for 2015 was he wanted to hear more from parents. Firstly I think one of the reasons there probably aren’t many blogs from parents on education is not because parents don’t care or are not interested. It is fear.

1) Fear of comeback: “What do you know? You have never taught, you don’t work in education, you don’t understand.”

2) Fear of the dreaded grammatical or spelling error, which will be pounced upon by the grammar police, and needless to say, this will render your view invalid.

3) Fear from the lack of familiarity with “terminology.” I have lost count of how many acronyms I have had to google since studying educational blogs/Twitter.

4) Fear of being thrown in to the “bad” parent bucket because of your views and, in my opinion, this is the worst fear.

I decided that I am old enough, wise enough and tough enough, to overcome any of these fears. So here goes:

Whilst encouraging my child to study for his GCSEs last year, I mentioned that, at the school meeting they had suggested revision timetables. I received a response, “Mum, you don’t understand – all the school are bothered about is their targets.”

I looked back to my own days, of O level revision. I was conscientious, I made my own timetable. I did not always stick to it, but I made the effort. That was my choice. It was not inflicted on me by my parents – though they always encouraged me to do well. I certainly had no concept of my school achieving “targets” and me being responsible for that. Don’t get me wrong, I have no complaint with my son’s school, just the “system”

My own son is very capable, but should I inflict something on him he is not happy with? Should I force the issue? Am I letting him down if I don’t go through the agony of the arguments over it? I concluded that, for our family and for my child, the best option was to explain the fact that you have to put effort in to life and that I did not want him to have any regrets in later life.

He never did do a timetable and, in my opinion, did far less revision than he should have done. He passed all his subjects. Could he have done better? Yes. How will this impact his life? Well, I guess, unless he has his mind set on Oxford / Cambridge or some other top university then I don’t suppose it will. I hear cries of “this is typical of the low aspiration culture.” I guess that is down to what you value in life.

I don’t judge success on earning a high income. I have great admiration for those who do achieve, who are intensely intelligent and contribute to medical, scientific, industrial research etc. etc. and for  those who are innovative and talented. I am astounded by the knowledge and talents that people demonstrate. I am impressed by their dedication to their work and I don’t begrudge anybody the lifestyle that they have worked so hard for.

What I do object to is misrepresenting reality. We can not all be medical surgeons, or research scientists, I think it would be morally wrong for me to suggest to my son that he could be. Parents do know their children. It is also rare that a child’s extraordinary  talents go unnoticed at school, so if my child was destined to be an astronaut, or spectacular in any particular subject, I trust both  myself and the school  to have identified this.

To me, it is not about low aspirations; it is about accepting the person that they are. Making them feel good about the things that they can do, rather than pretending they can be something that they can not.  My son’s friend really struggled with his maths. There were tears of pride from myself and his mum, when the Xbox stopped saying “Search and Destroy” and became a tool for maths revision. This demonstrates qualities in my son that I am intensely proud of, qualities I have taught him to aspire to. My son’s friend got his C. It was a fantastic achievement. He has since gone to College on a plumbing course where he is flourishing and excelling.

I believe children are made to feel failures academically, when it may be beyond their control. Try to teach me rotation on triangles now - and I would still fail some 30 years on. I liken it to trying to teach someone who cannot play football, to kick a ball proficiently, and, if by Year 11 they can not get Grade C, then, they have failed. It would be torture. Some people are highly intellectual - put a football in front of them and, sorry, it just will not happen. How cruel would it be to make them endure a sense of failure for something out of their control?

Can we go back to accepting that children are different, that talents lie in all areas, that not everybody wants to, or needs to attend, or, indeed is appropriate for universities and, if you are not, you are just as capable of contributing to society as those that do go?

Window cleaners, dustbin men, the van drivers delivering my parcels and the staff serving in Asda are all important and valuable members of society. Why do we feel the need to make people feel they are” better” because they “earn” more, or are “cleverer”. Can we not breed a culture where we have respect for all and stop making children feel like failures, before they have even started in life?

Finally, a quote, from my father’s school report “This boy seems satisfies to obtain the decent obscurity of mediocrity” – Hmm. He did okay, thanks. He has now sadly passed away. He contributed considerably - in more ways then one. He became a professional, self-employed businessman, refusing, at times, to charge the “going rate” to small clients for his services. He was the founder member of a successful charitable organisation in his area. He was absolutely committed to that charity and gave his all.  He was also a school governor at both primary and secondary schools in the community.  If his life sums up the “decent obscurity of mediocrity”, then I am comfortable with that for both myself and for my child. If this makes me an “enemy of promise” then I can live with that too.
12 Comments
Tom Adams
2/3/2015 02:29:01 pm

I have to agree. My daughter suffered a bit at secondary school age because she showed an aptitude in a wide range of subjects. She ended up getting the equivalent of 14 GCSE passes in the A* - B range but was completely burned out by the end of year 11. Instead of entering the VIth form she took a music course at a vocational/tech college. She was told by some that she was limiting her opportunities by not going the academic route, but she said to me that all she wanted was to "be happy." She has probably enjoyed the best two years of her education yet. Unfortunately, education policy and practice these days is driven by the idea of 'economic growth', as if this was the only measure of success. This filters down through senior managers to teachers and then to the students. As a result we are producing a generation of young people who are stressed up to the eyeballs, saddled with student debt and labelled as a failure if they do not meet our narrow view of what it means to be successful.

Reply
Leah (@LearntSchool) link
4/3/2015 09:29:46 am

Yes! Fantastic! Who are you? I'm on twitter @LearntSchool. I'm fairly recently through our school/college/uni system and know that my parents felt the same way with the fear you describe... thank you for speaking out! You know, it's becoming clear that teachers, students and parents are seeing similar issues with this system. I'm excited about where this collective awareness might lead as more and more people say what they see. xx

Reply
Tom Adams
4/3/2015 12:51:45 pm

Hi Leah. I'm both a parent and a teacher living in the north of England. Although I'm on twitter I don't use it a lot. Feel free to add me as friend on facebook.

Reply
Leah K Stewart (@LearntSchool) link
5/3/2015 02:22:59 am

Tom, I believe I've found you. I'll be updating my Facebook more regularly with posts/guest posts over the next weeks. I'm happy we can connect!

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Marie Goodwyn link
7/3/2015 01:12:52 am

I have been a teacher for more that 20 years and I have a 17 year old daughter. I have seen from both sides the effect of the pressure handed down to teachers which inevitably finds its way to the students. Not only is is so undermining for children whose interests and talents lie in non academic areas but it makes them feel that if they don't get all the right qualifications at 16 their life is over. This is not the case - I have five siblings now, social workers, midwives, teachers, civil engineers and only two of us did school, then 6th form then University straight away - some did access courses in their 20's etc. They need to know that if they do their best for them they can be what they want and even go back and do higher education - if they want to - later on. My daughter, she has done a performing arts course and is now auditioning for drama school and Uni - quite successfully. She could be doing "a proper degree" and I am thrilled that she is doing what brings her the most joy.

Reply
ChemistryPoet
7/3/2015 02:28:23 am

It is very, very clear that the drive for improvement has had significant unintended consequences on students (nevermind the nightmare it is for teachers and SLT). In principle seeking improvement is a good thing, but this way of doing so (league tables and targets) has too much collateral damage. We need a new, nurture based accountability system.

Reply
Teresa Roche
7/3/2015 03:30:39 am

Absolutely! 35 years as teacher, SLT and Head and never been so concerned for students.

Reply
Leah K Stewart (@LearntSchool) link
7/3/2015 07:52:10 am

Hi guys, don't be concerned for students. Student's will eventually be fine when school is done with them and they can start leading their own lives without criticism. It's our teachers that students are concerned for. Who'd want to be a teacher in this system? We're all asking it. I've made a comic here: http://www.storyboardthat.com/userboards/lls/school-truths
Good luck teachers!

Reply
joiningthedebate link
13/5/2015 02:27:20 pm

excellent article - from a teacher (also parent, but on this site as a teacher). We were once told as a staff, after a slight dip in results, that we had ruined the life chances of the students. The culture at present is that you have to sell your soul to the profession. Eg I personally believe that after school revision sessions are not that effective - kids waste time in the actual lesson and then expect a tired teacher to go through stuff enthusiastically after school, postponing all the other stuff they have to get done. The culture seems to say as long as something is 0.1% effective then we must do it. Never mind your own kids. never mind the fact that you haven't mowed your front lawn and if you do, you may be seen by someone thinking (all in my mind of course), why hasn't he spent that hour doing some more marking / preparing some more revision materials.
PS to the original writer - don't worry too much about the grammar police. I had to double check on google if it was mowed or mown (because mown certainly sounds better)

Reply
SLC
15/5/2015 04:59:22 pm

Thanks for the comments on this post. I thought I would be slated. Slated as a parent without aspiration. It seems, the definition of "aspiration" is open to interpretation - thank goodness for that!

I feel considerably better for not being "alone" as that is part of the problem. Some parents disagree very much with education policy, but they feel they are wrong, or they are scared, or they are made to feel that they are bad parents. There is no voice, or representation for us, we just have to take what is inflicted upon us. I guess, given my time again, in the current era, I would be opting out and going for home education. Many people are not in that position and do not have that choice, - yet - they have no say.

I suppose you could conclude we have a say when we vote. However, no manifesto reveals the inner truths of impact on the child. There is a huge gap in policy making and parental input. Parents are normally at least six months behind the changes being made, We are often informed via a screwed up letter in a child's pocket, or something like that, and it takes a while to register the impact of the change.

Where teachers are concerned,I think,if parents were more aware of the amount of change,accountability,red tape,data used against the profession, and possibly, hidden agendas, then, they would be far more sympathetic.

However, unless you research, all you have to go on is biased media. Thanks once again for comments. I would really like to see some parents from all walks of life, joining together to have a voice in policy making, supporting our teachers, and our state schools for the overall good of everybody. Then again, I have always been too idealistic.

Reply
Leah K Stewart (@LearntSchool) link
16/5/2015 05:10:08 am

Hi SLC, your idealism is important. It means you really care about what is right and meaningful in life. You don’t just accept things the way they are. You make a difference by daring to have big dreams and then acting as if they are possible (the above is written with help from the VirtuesProject.org definition). Are there any blogs or facebook groups that are for parents concerned with what's happening? If not, maybe you're the person to start one? Wordpress blog can be set-up for free in minutes and a facebook group is free and takes even less time. Give me a shout if you're wanting some pointers: www.leahkstewart.com

Reply
4yearcolleges.net link
16/9/2015 09:49:07 am

Great! Very informative post about guest post! Thanks!

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    Me? I work in primary education and have done for ten years. I also have children in primary school. I love teaching, but I think that school is a thin layer of icing on top of a very big cake, and that the misunderstanding of test scores is killing the love of teaching and learning.

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